WaitWTF
by Blood For Blood
Summary: Title says it all. A compilation of WTF moments from L4D. Ep. 1, Francis hates the phrase "Boom, headshot."
1. Chapter 1

_**Ep. 1: BOOM, headshot!**_

Zoey leaned on the railing with a hunting rifle, and picked of infected. She took the head clean off one of them.

"Boom, headshot you flesh-eating prick…" Zoey mumbled.

Francis twitched slightly. He turned to Zoey.

"What did you just say?" he asked, stepping forward.

"Boom, headshot. I just landed a headshot."

All the Survivors were sucked into Francis' flashback. _Francis as only eight, and didn't expect it. He knocked on his mother's door. There was no answer. He knocked again. Still no answer. He pushed the door open, and looked around. Francis pissed himself a little bit._

"_Boom, headshot."_

_Francis ran out of the room crying._

"Oh, sorry Francis. I never knew." Zoey extended her hand.

"It's alright…" Francis shook her hand.

"Really?"

"Aww, HELLZ NAW!"

Francis grabbed Zoey and shoved her over the railing. Bill and Louis stared at him. Francis shrugged.

"Are we even really gonna miss her?"

They both shrugged. "No."

**Please, send in reviews and any ideas if you're willing to submit! This is a democratic story!**


	2. Chapter 2

Zoey was the first out the safe house door, as always. She wasted no time in taking off towards the garage door. Francis followed behind her, but slowly. Bill and Louis emerged last, and rather sluggishly. Francis sighed, and watched as Zoey bolted from the garage.

"Damnit Zoey, your gonna get yourself getting cluster-fucked by zombies…" Francis mumbled.

"Piss off Francis." Zoey snapped.

Francis mumbled, and kept moving. Bill and Louis shared a laugh, and followed. Zoey was halfway down the path by the time the two had gotten outside. Francis was racing after Zoey, to make sure she didn't get into another accident because of her impatience. Last week, she got caught by surprise by a Smoker. It took all three of the men to wrestle the thing to the ground, and then Francis caved its head in with a brick.

"Zoey, watch yourself Damnit! Remember what happened last week?" Francis called out.

"Oh shit!"

Francis ran around the corner, to see a Hunter tackle Zoey to the ground. But it didn't attack her… no, it huggedm her.

"Francis, get it off me… now…" Zoey whispered loudly.

Francis didn't answer, but instead took out his phone and took pictures. Bill and Louis came around the corner a moment later, and broke out laughing.

"These are definitely going on my homepage…" Francis said, holding back laughter.

"Get it off me! You guys are assholes!" Zoey cried out, shoving the Hunter away. But it wouldn't budge.

"I don't like your tone… say sorry, then beg." Francis replied.

"FUCK YOU!"

"Alright ladies… let's get the thing off her." Bill said.

The three stepped over, and grabbed the Hunter. They all pulled as hard as possible, but it wouldn't budge. Francis picked up a chunk of concrete, and walked back over. He lifted his hand, and brought the concrete down on its head. But it still didn't move, even though its head was smashed in.

"Get it off me you douches! I hate this!"

Francis raised the rock, and bashed the Hunter in the head again. It let out a yelp of agony, but still clung to Zoey. Francis hit it two more times, but it still didn't die.

"Aw… I think it likes you." Louis said, finally giving up.

"And it won't fucking die!" Francis yelled.

"So… uh… now what?" Bill asked.

"This!"

Zoey kicked the Hunter in the groin, and it fell over writhing in pain. Zoey stood up, and ran back to the group. She hid behind Francis.

"You kicked him in the nads… you evil bitch…" Francis muttered.

"FUCK YOU FRANCIS!"


	3. Chapter 3

Zoey leaned onto the railing of the balcony, and looked around. A bunch of infected gathered around the bottom, but, as expected, couldn't get up.

"There's a lot of them…" Zoey mumbled.

"No duh. It's the apocalypse bitch." Francis replied.

"Fuck you Francis!"

Bill stepped in, and pushed the two apart. "Calm down ladies."

"Fuck off Bill!"

Louis was the only person who was actually paying attention to anything useful. He was staring through a hunting rifle scope.

"Hey guys, you might wanna see this." Louis interrupted the argument.

Bill took the rifle, and stared down the scope. Just a bit away, a Smoker and a Hunter were ganging up on a Boomer. The Hunter leapt around in a large circle to distract the Boomer, and the Smoker attempted to pop the Boomer.

Francis laughed at the sight. "Hey, that Smoker is such a pussy! It can't even pop a Boomer."

Zoey elbowed Francis in the stomach. "That's an offensive term, douche."

Zoey picked up the rifle, and looked at the oddity. She shook her head, and shot the Boomer. Bile covered both the Hunter and Smoker, which caused the majority of the infected under the balcony to change their direction, and attack the two covered infected. The horde of infected quickly tore the two apart. While they were busy, the four survivors fled the scene.


End file.
